A Snowy Day

It started snowing yesterday afternoon and continued throughout the evening, so today we had a nice white blanket.  I took Kaden to the park across the street.  He hasn't seen snow yet, and his Grandma Debbie bought him a cute little snow suit that we decided to make use of.  We got all bundled up (though I don't think he quite knew what was going on) and headed out into the cold.  He fell instantly asleep, so I had to wake him back up for pictures!  He didn't mind too much.  He didn't even seem to mind the cold!

With his puffy snow suit on, he was big enough to go in the baby swings all by himself - he really liked it, though you can't tell from the picture...

After we had a little fun, my friend Miah took some pictures of Kaden and I together in the snow.

He was so cute!

I wish we had a saucer so I could pull him around - he loves activities!  Maybe he'll get one for Christmas...

The Mommy-Do

My friend, Casey, and I found out we were pregnant just weeks apart.  Her first question to me was:

"You're not gonna cut your hair, are you?"

I assured her that I was not.  She had seen too many friends trade their long, silky locks for the kid-friendly "Mommy-Do" and she did not want me to be next.  No worries, Case.  I love my hair.

Except that after Kaden was born, I didn't.

All of a sudden, I had a newborn demanding my attention at all times.  I couldn't shower at my leisure anymore.  If I did get to wash my hair, I barely had time to dry it - forget about the straightener or anything else.  The messy bun became my go-to look, everyday.  Now Kaden is three months old and he's starting to grab things.  Dangling toys, glasses, and, yes, hair.  I was just done with it.  It was too long, too thin, too annoying.  It had to go.

I have never had my hair cut in a salon ever.  I don't color my hair, I don't get it styled, and until recently, I didn't even know where a salon was located.  I was driving to Costco the other day though and I passed Moxie on Main Street.  The phone number was on the sign, so I grabbed my cell, dialed, and scheduled an appointment.  Casey my friend, the deed has been done.  And it's not awful, it's adorable.  :)

Your turn!

Gotta Love the Internet

When I was little, my family had a big case of Christmas cassette tapes that surfaced every December.  We listened to Christmas music while we baked cookies with my mom, while we decorated the tree, and while we drifted off to sleep every night.  I knew all the songs, new and old.  My three favorites were the Sesame Street Christmas tape, the Raffi Christmas tape, and A Cabbage Patch Christmas.  I loved the Cabbage Patch Kids.  I even had a Cabbage Patch cassette player to play my Christmas tape in.  I loved Colonel Casey's narration and I knew every song on the tape.  Whether my dad finally couldn't take it anymore and crushed it under his boot or it's lost in the depths of my brother's garage, I will never know, but my tape disappeared for good one year.  It was awful to open up the Christmas cassette case and see an empty slot where my favorite tape used to reside.  "It'll turn up," my mom had said.  It never did.

As an adult, I searched eBay, Amazon, and countless other sites every year for my beloved Christmas album to no avail.  But this year...

Ta-Da!!

Though it was not for sale, someone had expertly uploaded the entire album from their LP and packaged it into a single downloadable file.  Our Lady of Perpetual Obsolescence Vinyl Rescue Mission and Orphanage is "A safe haven for forgotten and downtrodden record albums" and possibly the best gift I will receive this holiday season.  Not only were all ten tracks included in the file, the album cover (front and back) were graciously included.  As a result, I was able to make A Cabbage Patch Christmas CD and place it in a jewel case with the original album cover.  I was so excited!  I am so excited!  Now my little boy can grow up listening to songs about Christmastime in the Cabbage Patch just like it did.  And tell me he doesn't look exactly like Otis Lee (the little bald one in the middle), pictured on the album cover of the other long-lost Cabbage Patch album I was able to download:

So the wonderful world wide web came through for me this year.

Merry Christmas to me!

Let's Stay Healthy!!

Alright, it's obviously cold and flu season, and the media has done its best to instill unnecessary swine flu-related terror in our hearts.  I hope that by now, everyone knows that hand washing is the number one defense against contracting the pathogens other people are putting out into the world.  However, if you want to do your part to keep others healthy, you really need to take five minutes and watch this entertaining (and totally legit) video.

If you were one of the millions of people who sneezed/coughed into your hands, erroneously thinking you were stopping the spread of germs, you were wrong.  The good news is that you now know how to cover your sneeze or cough appropriately.  Unfortunately, if you're already in the habit of doing it into your hands, it can be difficult to switch.  But with a conscious effort and the health of your community in mind, you can do it!!  Let's stay healthy!

Currently Without State

resident |ˈrez(ə)dənt; ˈrezəˌdent|

noun

1.  A person who lives somewhere permanently or on a long-term basis.

Ah, if only it were as simple as that.  You would think that after spending my entire life in the state of Idaho that there would be no question of my residency.  You would think it would be easy to prove my residency in the event that someone did question it.  Yes, you would think that, but you'd be wrong.

There are many hurdles involved in applying to medical school.  It is a challenging and grueling process, not to be taken lightly.  But of all the possible roadblocks, I never once thought that this would be the one to stop me.  The University of Washington School of Medicine was my first choice of medical school, and the WWAMI program was going to help me get there.  UW is the only medical school in all of Washington, Wyoming, Alaska, Montana, and Idaho (WWAMI), so the school reserves a select number of seats for each state's residents.  When you apply, you simply fill out the residency paperwork, submit it to the residency officer in your state, and wait to see if you are going to fill one of those reserved seats.  I submitted my application.  I was invited to fill out the secondary, more specialized, application.  I wrote the essays.  I paid the fees, I submitted my residency paperwork, and I waited.  I didn't have to wait long.  My paperwork was promptly returned to me "for completion."

With my original form, I had attached photocopies of my Idaho driver's license, the lease agreement for my Idaho apartment, the bank statement for my Idaho checking account, and my marriage certificate.  I sent copies of vehicle registrations for my car, our 5th wheel, and our 4-wheeler, all registered in Idaho.  I got it all notarized.  Now, they wanted to know the date my checking account was opened, the original date of registration for all vehicles, and the original date my driver's license was issued to me.  Oh, and they wanted a copy of a bank statement from over a year ago.  I spent the rest of the day getting in touch with offices all over the state to obtain the information.  It was no trouble until I called the DMV about my license.

"Hi, my name is Lindsey Smith and I was wondering if you could tell me the date that my driver's license was originally issued to me."

"What could you possibly need that information for?"

"I need it for my residency paperwork for medical school."

"We generally don't give out that information.  You need it for medical school?" she asks skeptically.

"Yes.  I'm applying to University of Washington but I get in-state tuition if I'm an Idaho resident because we don't have a medical school.  First, I have to prove my Idaho residency and they would like to know the date that my driver's license was originally issued."

Silence.  And then:

"What is your driver's license number?"

I tell her.

"What is your name?"

"Lindsey Smith."

"How do you spell your middle name?"

"K-A-Y-E."

"What is your address?"

I give her the one listed on my license.

"What color are your eyes?"

"Hazel."

Is this a matter of national security?  Seriously, why is it such a big deal for them to provide me with the date they certified me as a competent driver in their state?  Finally, begrudgingly, she gives me the information I was seeking.  I read over the returned paperwork to make sure I wasn't missing anything else and discovered that I needed to provide either a voter registration card from a year ago, or documentation certifying my abandonment of my previous domicile.  I wasn't registered to vote, so that left me with proving abandonment.  I called the residency officer to find out how to go about this.  She told me the state of Idaho accepts three things: proof of sale of your home, confirmation that your previous lease was completed, or bills for moving expenses.  I did not sell a home.  I only moved 10 blocks and I used my own truck.  I didn't have a lease because I was living with a friend.  What was I supposed to do?  She basically told me I was out of luck.  There are different sections of the form, and you can use any of them to show your residency.  I was attempting to use section V.  She suggested I try another section.  Why couldn't I just provide a copy of my Idaho taxes from last year?  Because I didn't pay Idaho taxes last year.  I didn't work, and my husband was traveling around California for his job.  Consequently, though our residence was not in California, he paid California state taxes last year.  Why couldn't I check that I was attending this institution immediately following graduation from an Idaho high school?  Because I graduated nine years ago.

So I ask, "What are my options?"

"I don't know what to tell you."

How can I NOT be a resident of the state I reside in?  Because the system is flawed.  I am an Idaho resident.  I love Idaho, and, with the exception of leaving for med school, I never want to live anywhere else.  But apparently, that doesn't count.  It doesn't matter that I've maintained a permanent residence in the state for 27 years, or that I have appropriate documentation for everything that it's possible for me to document.  It's about the money.  I didn't work or pay taxes to them last year, and this is my punishment.  The Idaho that I've known and loved my whole life has turned its back on me because of a technicality.  Thanks a lot.

Science Outreach - And We've Got T-shirts!

Science Outreach is a program at Lewis-Clark State College that was started by Dr. Matthew Brady.  The idea is to get elementary school kids excited about Biology (and a little Chemistry).  Teachers from the elementary schools invite him into their classrooms to teach a little segment on a subject that they have been learning about.  Bats and Owls are the popular programs in the fall.  Insects, Marine Life, and Mammals of North Idaho are also popular choices.  The popularity of the program started to grow, and Matt couldn't handle it entirely on his own anymore.  The answer?  Recruit science majors to assist him with the specimens, and then eventually delegate the teaching of these programs to students as well.  I have been with Matt's Outreach program every semester and I absolutely love it.  Going out and working with kids is so much fun, and they always amaze me with how much information they already know!  Some of their questions are really good and they really get a kick out of all our specimens.  Outreach is great, but we were missing one thing...t-shirts.

I took it upon myself to fix this problem.  I figured if we were a legit program, we should have a form of identification, so last spring, I painstakingly designed a shirt logo.  It's pretty simple, but each image on the shirt is a symbol for something that we talk about, and the Gummy Bear is an inside joke.  At any rate, I was really excited and I brought my design in for approval.  We had an overwhelming number of students in Outreach last semester - too many - and while they all liked the design, we couldn't agree on a color scheme and the project kind of got dropped.  I was bummed.

This semester, it's just me and one other girl.  I decided I was making my t-shirt and if anyone else wanted one, they could order it themselves.  Of course, I had one made for Matt, too, since he's the founding father of Outreach.  I picked up our shirts this evening and they're everything I dreamed they would be...

Now I just hope we have some more Outreach requests this semester...

I'm Officially Ranting

There aren't many things that make me outrageously upset, and even fewer that warrant a blog post, but I'm mad tonight and I'm going on a rant.

I don't even know quite how to begin, so I'm going to start with a little story.  A few years ago, I started Organic Chemistry.  The first week, we had a decent sized homework assignment due.  After everyone had handed theirs in (at the beginning of class), a little blond girl walked up to the front of the room.  I didn't know her, but she struck me as the kind of girl who was really popular in high school and skated through by copying people's homework.  She turned on the innocent charm and approached our instructor.

"I didn't know that we had a homework assignment that was due today.  Can I bring it by your office later?"  [Insert nauseating puppy dog eyes and syrupy voice].

"No."

"No?"

"No.  You're in this class because you are planning for some kind of important career, whether it's a doctor or a vet or whatever.  In those kinds of professions, you are required to be responsible.  You need to start now.  I don't allow late homework."

This girl was practically in tears as she took her seat.  She quietly explained to her friends what the big bad teacher had told her.  They consoled her.  I smiled and thought, "Dang, this instructor rocks.  See, one of my biggest irritations is people who don't take responsibility in life.  My O-Chem professor set the tone right from the start - we knew what she expected and we all did our best to live up to those expectations.  That's how it is in the science department.  We can't say, "I got a C.  That's good enough," because it's not good enough.  A 2.0 GPA is never going to get you into graduate school or medical school.  A lot is expected of us and we work hard.  So now on to the thing that's making me absolutely insane with irritation tonight:

I'm getting my English minor, so this semester is full of English classes.  The semester is almost over, but this has been bothering me the entire time.  People in this department are incredibly lazy.  I'm not going to generalize and say that all English majors are lazy, but there are quite a few that are giving the whole group a really bad image.  The problem manifests itself most in my Creative Writing: Non-Fiction class.  It's a one-night-a-week class from 7-9:45 p.m.  At the beginning of the semester, Misty Urban explained to us what was expected.  She went over the assignments.  She passed around sign up sheets.  We got to pick which essays from our anthology that we wanted to present (everyone was supposed to sign up for two).  We got to choose which days we wanted to be responsible for bringing in our own essays to be "workshopped" by the class.  Misty photocopied the schedule for both of these things and gave a schedule to everyone so we would have no doubt which nights we had to present something.  You would think that everyone could figure it out.  Wrong.  Here's a typical weekly conversation:

Misty: Student, I believe you are leading our discussion of this essay tonight.

Student: Am I?

Misty: I have you down for it right here.

Student: Oh.  I didn't read it.

Then later...

Misty: Everyone who was supposed to bring essays tonight, do you have copies for the class?  Student A, Student B, Student C, Student D? [Students A and B pass around their essays]  Student C?

Student C: Would it be alright if I get it to you later?

Misty: Can you have copies outside my door by Thursday?

Student C: Probably.

Misty: Okay, everyone drop by my office on Thursday and pick up Student C's essay.  Student D, do you have your essay for us?

Student D: Was I supposed to have one?

Misty: Yes, I have you down right here.

Student D: Oh.

Misty: By Thursday?

Student D: Okay.

But Thursday comes around and, after making the hike across campus to Misty's office, I find no essays outside the door.  Critiques of our essays are also supposed to be submitted by each class member after one of our essays is up for workshop.  This is a simple, one page response about the good and bad of our essay to help us in the revision process.  Out of around 16 students still enrolled in the class, I got 8 critiques turned in for my first essay and 6 for the next.  How do people get away with this?!?  It is rude and disrespectful, not just to the instructor who tries to complete things on schedule, but to your classmates.  It is rude to make us print off copies of your essay when you were supposed to provide them.  It is rude to make us walk across campus to check for an essay every day that never materializes.  It is rude to give us a critique four weeks late and expect us to give you full points.  The worst part is that I see them getting away with it.  When they don't have their essays/critiques/notes prepared when they are supposed to, the instructors in this department continually smile and say, "Okay, when can you get something to me?"  I have not seen it affecting their grades.  What I see are lazy students getting the same grade as dedicated students who meet their deadlines.  It's not fair.

"I have to leave class early to study for a Spanish test."

Really?  How long have you known about your test?  This class is over in an hour.  You really need to take off?  Haven't you missed more classes than you've attended?

"My printer was out of ink."

Then come back to the school ten minutes earlier and print it off in the library.  Don't say that, show up with nothing, and then not even turn your paper in by the following week.  It's absolutely ridiculous.

"I didn't have any paper."

See above.

I can't believe what people get away with, and I nearly walked out of class in anger tonight.  Out of five people that showed up to class that were supposed to have essay copies for everyone tonight, two of us actually had them.  Now I am waiting on three people to post copies outside Misty's office.  I will have to go there every day to look for them.  I have to critique them by next Tuesday.  My guess is that one will show up on Friday and the others will never materialize.  I would also be willing to bet that none of these people fail the class.

I am a full-time student.  I had a baby early in the semester.  My husband lives 2000 miles away, my family doesn't live here, I have no roommates, and I'm basically a single parent with a newborn.  I get to sleep in two-hour increments every night.  If any of you lazy-ass slackers have a better excuse for not getting stuff done, I'd love to hear it.  And if you say, "My printer was out of ink," I'll go absolutely insane.

Original, I Am - A Seamstress, I Am Not

This will be my baby's first Halloween, and I wanted his costume to be unique.  There are a handful of traditional baby Halloween costumes - a peapod, various animals, a pumpkin...they've all been done before.  My baby was not going to end up like the others, no matter how much my mother lobbied for an adorable costume.  When an idea finally came to me, I was giddy with excitement.  It was perfect.  My baby was going to be...

Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus aureus, a.k.a. MRSA.

Right now, you're either thinking I'm crazy, or wondering what the heck MRSA is.  MRSA is a type of staph infection, only it's resistant to the traditional antibiotics used for treatment.  It can be hospital-acquired or community-acquired (each results in a different kind of infection) and it is potentially deadly, as I nearly found out in August of 2006.  Since then, I've had it two more times.  I am fascinated by this "superbug" and have studied it extensively.  It only made sense that I should turn my child into something that has had such a profound impact on my life.  I would make his costume myself, modeling it after the stuffed animal representation of the bacterium.  Yes, they make stuffed animal bacteria.  They're awesome.

All I'd need to do is get a pattern for a baby bunting outfit and hat, make a few modifications, and design a cape.  Should be easy, right?  Technically, I had never made an outfit before.  I'm not the craftiest chick, but I've created a few things in the past: quilts, no-sew fleece blankets, quillows, and scarves.  I can use my sewing machine.  How hard could it be to make a baby outfit?  Turns out, very.

I came home with my yard of tan fleece, some black for the cape, and a couple of large googley eyes.  I opened up the envelope containing the pattern.  I cut out the paper shapes, traced them onto the back side of the fleece, and cut the fabric out.  The pieces looked pretty good and I gave myself a mental pat on the back for succeeding thus far.  Next, I opened the instructions.  They were completely foreign; I'd never used a pattern before.  I pinned one side of the hat to the center band and grinned excitedly - everything matched up and sewing it would be easy.  My happiness was short-lived.  I realized that I had pinned it with the wrong side of the fleece facing outward.  I pulled the pins out and started over, calling it a night when I had finished.

Tonight, I picked it up and immediately got to work stitching the two pieces together.  It looked amazing.  I added the other side and the whole thing looked like a little hat.  I couldn't have been more excited.  I was doing it!  And then came the hat band around the bottom...I couldn't figure out the instructions, and I had no idea what "stitch in the ditch" meant.  Stuck, I moved on to the bunting outfit.  I didn't get far though - I realized I forgot to reverse the pattern when I cut the right sides of everything.  I had two left-side front panels and two left sleeve panels, front and back.  Awesome.  I thought I might have enough leftover fleece to cut them correctly later, so I figured I'd work at the one side I could actually do.  I hemmed the mitten and the sleeve and sewed the two together.  It looked alright.  Then I looked at the instructions and realized I needed a zipper, snap tape, some kind of hemming tape, and much more sewing skill than I had ever acquired.  I surveyed my progress, counted the days until Halloween, and then wadded it all up and stuffed it back into the Jo-Ann's bag.  Original, I am.  A seamstress, I am not.  But at least I can honestly say I tried.

FAIL.

Christmas Is Coming!!

I know it isn't even Halloween yet, but if the stores can start selling Christmas stuff already, I should be able to make a blog post about it, right?  Christmas is my favorite time of year.  I love the Christmas feeling - it settles in the very first night that snow falls silently around me, lighting up the dark with that "Christmas Blue", and it doesn't leave again until the New Year.  Christmas music puts me in a fantastic mood.  I listen to it in the car, while I'm cleaning the house, and especially while I'm decorating cookies.  Last year, my little brother, an amazing self-taught musician, decided to get his musical buddies together and make their own Christmas CD.  I was excited about the idea, but I was even more excited when he asked if I wanted to cover a song.  In fact, he let me cover one and do a parody of another.  When it was almost time for the CD's release, several of his friends backed out and the track list was shorter than he had hoped for.  My friend, Jeremiah, and I came to the rescue (okay, he could've done this without us, but the CD would've been shorter).  We each wrote our own Christmas song to add to the playlist and the CD was a total hit.  I'm not sure how many copies were distributed, but I think it was around 50.  Anyway, we all worked really hard on it and I thought it would be cool to share an original Christmas song from that CD with everyone.  (I hope it works).  Without further ado, I give you "Santa Got A Wii" by Lindsey Smith and Jeremiah Croskrey...

The Hard Part Is Never Over...

If I can just pass Biochemistry, I'll be alright.

Okay, if I can just get through the MCAT, the rest will be simple.

Really, if I can write a killer personal statement, getting accepted will be easy.

Now, all I have to do is get these secondary applications sent in...

The hard part is never over.  There's always another one waiting for me.  I know becoming a doctor is not something that happens overnight.  I understand that it's an awful lot of work.  I just need to whine a little bit because I'm tired.

I got the grades, I took the MCAT, I wrote a great personal statement.  I submitted my application with confidence to 10 schools and so far, six of them have had the good sense to invite me to fill out secondary applications.  Two of them rejected me.  Two of them have remained silent.  I'm still feeling good and confident, just a tad overwhelmed.  Keeping up with school is fine.  Doing it with a newborn baby is challenging.  Doing all that and actively applying to med school?  That's nearly impossible.  But somehow I press on...

I have procrastinated on the secondary applications for two reasons.  First, they're a lot of work - each one has multiple essays that must be submitted with it and, in some cases, proof of residency applications, photos, etc.  I'm not intimidated by hard work, but many other things have been eating up my time and I haven't had the chance to really sit down and get these things out.  Second, they cost a lot of money.  Each one has a separate fee that must be payed before they will accept your application.  As if I didn't already shell out $408 to submit the primaries.  University of Washington is the cheapest at $35.  The others?  $75 - $100 each.  So either submit applications or pay rent.  Hmm.

On that note, I have submitted one application fully.  I have written the essays for one other school but still need my residency paperwork completed.  Most of these apps aren't due until January (of course if you wait until January, you'll never get in...), but one of them is due this Friday.  I have two essays to write for it and instead, I'm blogging.  It's just easier.  I work better under pressure anyway.  Hey, that's why I'm gonna make a great E.R. doctor, right?  :)  Just practicing...

When I first set out to apply to med school, I wanted to go to University of Washington.  I didn't even have a desire to apply anywhere else.  Clearly that isn't wise though, so I asked for some advice and came up with all these other schools to apply to.  When you're filling out secondaries though, most of the essays are school-specific, so then I found myself actually having to research these places to try and respond appropriately.  This is actually a good thing.  I have learned so much!  In fact, I decided that Creighton University School of Medicine is the place that fits me best so far.  I think I'll be pretty upset if I don't at least get an interview (that's the next step, by the way - if they like my secondary, I get an interview.  If they like my interview, I get accepted).

Sometimes I find myself thinking,

"If I can just get through the secondary apps, the hard part will be over..."

But no, it won't.  Because the hard part is NEVER over.

A Whole New World....

No, I'm not talking about Aladdin and Jasmine's magic carpet ride.  If they thought that opened their eyes to a whole new world, just wait until they have a baby...

Kaden LeDoux Smith joined us on September 4, 2009 at 9:04 p.m.  He weighed 6 pounds, 10 ounces and was 20 inches long.  I rarely think newborn babies are cute, but he totally was.  He's amazing!  From his adorable ears to his teeny tiny toes, I couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby.  The morning sickness (which was actually every-hour-every-day-for-2-months sickness), the aching back, the fat feet...it was all worth it.  I can't even believe how much I love this little boy.  Good thing, too, because his arrival really introduced me to "a whole new world".

The world of Motherhood is incredibly exhausting.  I'm sure all existing mothers knew this, but for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure, get ready.  Forget about trying to keep up with baby, family, friends, school, and housework.  There is only so much time in the day to allot to each one, and "baby" certainly gets the largest slice of the time pie.  I no longer have lengthy phone conversations with my mother or go out for ice cream with my friends on Tuesday evening.  My usually immaculate home is in ruins (okay, that's an exaggeration, but I'm pretty obsessive about cleaning and organizing, and for me, this place is a disaster...).  And when, exactly, am I supposed to sleep?  I mean, the books say, "Sleep when the baby sleeps."  Ha!  What a joke.  When the baby sleeps, I have to do homework, pay bills, do laundry, eat a quick bite, clean the floors, and take a shower.  I am so tired!!

Of course none of that matters, because this little baby means more to me than anything else.  He's next to me right now, making precious baby noises in his sleep.  I love him so much - I just can't get enough of him!  Yes, he turned my world upside down, but it's so hard to care when he's this adorable...

The Inevitable Return of The Great Jeff Deck

He's back!  My hero is back!!  The "Long Silence" is over: Jeff Deck and the Typo Eradication Advancement League have returned.  If you aren't a huge fan of TEAL, you might be a little lost right now.  See, Jeff Deck, disgusted with the declining English skills in our nation, set out across the country fixing typos, grammatical errors, and apostrophes on everything from billboards to business cards.  Then one day, he fixed a typo on a sign at a National Park.  It turned out that the sign was created at the park's birth by a local artist and is irreplaceable.  Jeff was charged with "vandalism" for making America look less retarded and was forced to disappear for a while.  He had to wipe out his website and put up a statement, mandated by the judge, that basically said it was wrong to vandalize signs on public lands without explicit permission.  I was devastated.  Seriously, SO many people are really bad at English and if there are a select few left in the world who can still get it right, they shouldn't be punished, they should be revered.  I wish I could have joined Jeff in his endeavor.  I'm not perfect, but I think I would have been a great asset to his team.  No word on whether or not he plans to continue his cross-country crusade, but he most certainly will continue to find and fix typos everywhere he goes.  So check your store fronts and sale signs carefully...if he's nearby, he will find you.

Jeff isn't the only one on this spell-check mission though.  While in California, I noticed an error on a bottle of Mountain Berry Windex - the tilde was over the wrong "n" in the Spanish translation of "mountain".  I wrote to the nice people at Johnson & Johnson.  They apologized for "any inconvenience this may have caused" me and gave me a coupon for free Windex.  I bet that error didn't get fixed.  Then I was on the Keebler website and noticed they spelled "Cheesecake" wrong.  They had written it as "Chesscake" so I e-mailed them.  They thanked me, fixed the error, and gave me a printable coupon for $1.00 off any Keebler product.  A few months ago, I was following a van down Main Street.  They had a decal in the back window that said, "Next time you think your perfect, try walking on water".  The "you're/your" and the "there, they're, their" misspellings are the most irksome, I think.  Anyway, Jeff is an inspiration to me and if you want to keep up with him, check out the TEAL website at www.jeffdeck.com/teal/ or browse his photos at http://picasaweb.google.com/jeff.deck.

Baby Brain

Okay, so I've heard the term "baby brain" thrown around by various preggos I have known, but without ever understanding what it meant.  Well, let me tell you: I know what it means now.  The last week has been insane.  It started with dropping things once in a while.  Then I started forgetting random things that I normally would have remembered.  Tonight, I kept messing up at Dr. Mario.  That sounds dumb, but I am really good at Dr. Mario!!  Or I used to be....now I just flip the pills the wrong way and drop them to the side of where I should.  And also tonight, I couldn't solve any of the Wheel Of Fortune puzzles.  I can ALWAYS solve the Wheel Of Fortune puzzles.  I'm losing it.  I can't even type as accurately these days.  Oh, and forget about speaking.  I can't find the words I need anymore.  And once in a while, I use a word that doesn't even remotely come close to what I meant.  I feel SO frustrated.

I looked it up - it's a real thing.  The book says that during the 4th month, you'll feel like you're not quite together - you're scattered, forgetful, drop things, have trouble concentrating... well, guess what?  I just started the 4th month.  It was like clockwork.  So that's where I'm at.  Frustrated, stupid, forgetful, uncoordinated, and basically just retarded.  It's making me really mad.

Tagged!

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, and enter yours. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real, nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You must put the first answer that comes to mind! You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name twice for the boy/girl name.

1. What is your name: Lindsey
2. A four Letter Word: Lump
3. A boy's Name: Levi
4. A girl's Name: Lexi
5. An occupation: Lineman
6. A color: Lemon Yellow
7. Something you wear: Lingerie
8. A food: Lettuce
9. Something found in the bathroom: Lysol
10. A place: Luxemburg
11. A reason for being late: Lost your keys
12. Something you shout: Let go!
13. A movie title: Little Mermaid
14. Something you drink: Lemonade
15. A musical group: Little Big Town
16. An animal: Lemur

Um, upon completion of this, I realized it goes by another name:  Scattergories.  But there's no timer.  Where is the challenge, I ask?

I tag anyone and everyone! Have fun!!

"He screamed - actually *screamed* at some total strangers sitting in our seats..."

You know what royally pisses me off?  Someone who completely misrepresents themselves in a sad attempt to please others.  You know what pisses me off more than that?  When the other people actually buy into their act.  Especially when they are people I care about.  Ugh, I am physically ill thinking about it right now.  Is there no justice in the world?  Will these people ever be exposed for who they really are?  Knowing that retribution exists would help me sleep better at night.  The more people that their fraudulent representation fools, the angrier I get inside.  And no one else can see it.  Does anyone understand how frustrating that is?  It's like on Friends, when Rachel is dating Tommy...Ross keeps seeing Tommy yell and totally freak out on people for no reason.  Ross knows that the real Tommy has anger issues and isn't very nice at all.  None of the other five can see it though and they just make fun of Ross, saying he's jealous.  The only big difference between that and my situation is in the end, they all find out Ross was right when they see Tommy being a maniacal jerk.  And no one is seeing anything that accredits my claims.  So I'm stuck being bitter.  But at least I'm not pretending.

My Fantasy Dinner Party

What do C3PO, Benjamin Hobart, and Christie Brinkley have in common? You know this. Come on. Give up? They are all invited to Ross Geller's Fantasy Dinner Party. And when I remembered this, I thought to myself, "Why don't I have a guest list for my Fantasy Dinner Party? So I decided to make one. This is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. I feel obligated to state one minor proviso: This list is subject to change at any time. Because I'm a girl and that's how we roll. Oh, and I am estimating that the appropriate number of people to invite to a dinner party is 8, based on several reliable sources. And by "several reliable sources" I mean "one website." And the winners are...

1. "The Author": Ernest Hemingway - A talented author, a soul from "the Lost Generation," he's well-travelled, pensive, he fought in the Great War, and he blew his own head off right here in Idaho. Fascinating guy.

2. "The Actor": Harrison Ford - He's been Han and Indi...need I say more?

3. "The Funny Guy": Seth MacFarlane - It will be like having Stewie, Peter, and Quagmire there. I'm pretty sure we won't stop laughing. Someone will probably choke. But several of my guests are dead anyway.

4. "The Wookie": Chewbacca - Okay, Star Wars is awesome, and if any of my guests get out of line, he can pull their arms off. I also think it will be really nice to get a Wookie hug. And I really want to know what he smells like, and whether his fur is soft and silky or kind of matted and gross.

5. "The Obstetrician": Ignaz Philipp Semmelweis - He dramatically decreased mortality rates in women who gave birth by figuring out it was NOT, in fact, a very good idea to perform necropsies and then go deliver a baby without stopping by the sink first to wash up. He was insane about germs (though they didn't know what a germ was at the time) and critics bashed him and called him crazy. Later in life, he actually went crazy, but whether it was from the syphilis or the stress, we'll never know. It's said that he began turning every conversation to the topic of childbed fever...I think he will add a challenge to the dinner conversation, and an interesting one at that.

6. "The Beverage King": Charles Alderton - He gave the world Dr. Pepper, and inviting him is the only way I can think of to appropriately say, "Thank you, kind stranger. You've changed my life."

7. "The Unsung Hero": Rosalind Franklin - She was the best in her field. Without her crystallography pictures of DNA, Watson and Crick might not have beaten Linus Pauling to the structure of our genetic material and history would be forever changed. They SO owe her. And she died before she could collect. I really just want to get her side of the story and tell her that I'm proud of her for being a strong woman in a man's world.

8. "The Forensic Anthropologist": Bones (a.k.a. Temperance Brennan) - I don't really know the rules about the Fantasy Dinner Party. I assume fictitious characters are acceptable, on account of Ross inviting C3PO, and I really don't want to know what Emily Deschanel is like in real life - I just love her as Bones and I want to maintain that image. So I would invite Bones to my dinner party, because I secretly want to be like her, antisocial tendencies aside. Gosh, I love Bones.

Okay, that's my Fantasy Dinner Party. Oooh! Maybe we'll get Fazzari's...

Five Secrets

I don't know what it's like for all of you, but I'm pretty sure that it's a universal fact:  If you have a secret, you have to let it out somehow.  Write it in a journal, tell your best friend, whisper it to the stuffed tiger on your bed...just set it free.  It feels better than keeping it all pent up, right?  So I'm blogging mine, because I can.

Secret #1:  I wish my parents would get back together.

I know this is improbable.  I understand that circumstances made them grow apart, and that they couldn't keep up the charade anymore.  I realize that they have both moved on and found other people to share their lives with.  But all the logic and reason in the world can't silence the little girl inside of me that wants her fractured family to be whole again.  I hang onto this tiny glimmer of hope that someday, somehow, they will look deep into their hearts and realize that they still love each other; that they just needed some time to gain perspective and grow as individuals, and now it is time to put this silly "divorce" behind them.  I want go "home" for Christmas and Thanksgiving...to the house I knew growing up and the family I knew growing up.  I want to say things like, "My parents are coming to see me this weekend," or "My parents put in a hot tub."  And don't get me wrong - both my step-dad and my step-mom are great people.  I'm glad to know them and have them around, but if I had to, I would choose the nuclear family.  And as inconceivable and childish as it is, I will always keep waiting for the day...

Secret #2:  I cheat when I make Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh, yeah.  Those who have been fortunate enough to eat my Thanksgiving dinners have unanimously claimed it was the best they've ever had.  While that does give me a sense of pride and satisfaction, I also feel incredibly guilty.  Why?  Because I think about my grandmother, my mother-in-law, the thousands of women bent over in the frozen food section duking it out for the biggest bird, and how they spend hours thawing, cleaning, stuffing, basting, and dressing their main course.  And me?  I buy the 12-pound Jennie-O Turkey-in-a-Bag.  It's delicious.  It's a real turkey, just like the other ones.  Oh, except that it is already cleaned, seasoned to perfection, and comes in convenient bag that goes directly from the freezer to the oven.  And when it comes out, it doesn't even need carved because the meat is so tender and juicy that it just falls off the bone.  It's delicious and practically impossible to screw up.  Then there's all the other accouterment...I mean, why do I feel like I'm cheating because I love Stove Top Stuffing?  Seriously.  I know that a lot of people spend hours on their "secret family stuffing recipes" and whatnot, but why so fancy?  Who wants apples in their stuffing?  Not me.  Stove Top is mouth-watering.  If stuffing wasn't so bad for you, I would eat it with regular dinners all the time.  But because all I do is pour a dehydrated packet of deliciousness into some boiling soup broth for 5 minutes, I feel like a cheat.  Same goes for potatoes.  I have never been a fan of gravy, and regular mashed potatoes almost require it.  Know what I like?  Betty Crocker Garlic Mashed Potatoes.  From a box.  Boil some milk, water, and butter, stir in contents of package, and voila!  Takes five minutes and tastes amazing.  And while that's going on, the Hawaiian Sweet Rolls are heating in the oven.  If the turkey didn't take so long to cook, I could whip up a Thanksgiving feast in 10 minutes flat.  To give myself a little credit, I do prepare a Jell-O salad that takes some effort and time (Jell-O has to set, you know), and I always make an awesome Thanksgiving dessert from scratch, but the main courses on my table are a sham.  A succulent and delightful sham, but a sham nonetheless.  And so, weary women of the kitchen, I apologize.  My name is Lindsey, and I am a Thanksgiving cheater.  But if my meal is equally delectable, if not more so, than yours and takes a fraction of the effort, why not??

Secret #3:  I use big words, even when I know I am operating above someone's vocabulary level.

It's a sickness.  A weird one, at that.  I love vocabulary.  I love learning new words.  I used to read the dictionary in junior high.  My dad tells stories about my crazy huge vocabulary when I was like five years old.  The more words you know, the better off you are: you always have a word for what you're trying to say.  If a person learns Spanish, their teachers will invariably tell them, "If you don't use it, you'll lose it."  Same goes for an English vocabulary, right?  So I try to throw the big ones in once in a while, and then it accidentally becomes automatic.  Then for some reason, even if I know that the person I'm talking to isn't going to understand the word, I use it anyway!  I mean, there's this speed-of-light thought process that goes through my mind first: "Should I use a synonym here?  Something a little more common?  His vocabulary isn't as big - I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what this word means and he'll be too proud to ask, so maybe he won't even get what I'm trying to say.  I should use a smaller word.  No!  I like this one better..."  It's kind of mean, in a way.  But I want my vocabulary to grow, not atrophy, so I continue.  I don't even have a remarkable vocabulary compared to a lot of people, but I'm proud of what I do know and am compelled to keep throwing those unnecessarily large words in with the regular ones.  Sorry.

Secret #4:  I threw away two of Levi's shirts that I hated and then told him I didn't know what happened to them.

I'm sorry!!!  But I really hated them.  They were from The Buckle, so I know they were expensive, but every time he wore them, I was filled with disgust and resentment.  They put me in a bad mood.  And I can't even explain why I really hated them so much.  They just evoked this evil response deep within my core.  One was light blue and it had a stupid cartoon rooster on it.  Underneath, it said "Party Animal."  It was SO dumb.  I freaking hated that shirt.  I'm typing faster and harder just thinking about the ridiculous thing.  Even my teeth are clenched.  Hated it.  The other one was brown, and in light blue letters it said, "Lie to me," but between 'Lie' and 'to', there was a little carrot (^) and above it said "next."  Again, seething at the thought of this inane concept of a shirt.  Hated the shirt.  So one day when he was gone, I just threw them away.  Buried them in the trash.  And they are out of my life forever.  ::deep, calming breath::  Ahh...

Secret #5:  I'm not as smart as I let other people think I am.

This should come as no great shock to the few of you who read this, because you can probably already think of a few examples where the facade failed on accident and the true depth of my ignorance glared through.  Let's start with "The Pentagon Incident" for a few laughs.  If you don't know the story, my brother, his friend Mark, and I were playing Outburst.  The category was "Things You Would Visit In/Near Washington D.C." or something like that.  When it was all over and the missing answers included "the Pentagon", I was baffled.  Why?  Because I thought the Pentagon was in Utah.  Here's where it gets good though.  I thought it was in Utah because I thought it was near Area 51.  And Area 51 is actually in Nevada.  So I really screwed that one up.  But it cleared up my 9-11 confusion, because I couldn't see how a plane could make it over the Atlantic Ocean and halfway across the U.S. to the Pentagon in Utah before it was shot out of the sky.  Mystery solved.  Want another example?  I was at Home Depot a few days ago getting some things for Levi.  I couldn't find the spray paint.  I looked at all the signs and couldn't figure out what section it would be in so to save time, I thought I'd just ask.  Turns out spray paint is in the paint section.  Who would've thought?  Apparently, not this genius.  Do you need a third example?  My brother and I were recording some music.  He left his equipment with me so I could finish some things on my own to save time.  I wasn't really familiar with the recording stuff, but his instructions were simple: plug the microphone cord in, make sure the headphones are plugged in, etc.  So I do all that, but absolutely no sound is registering and I try all the most complex solutions to make it work.  I was so frustrated.  But after almost a half hour of frantic problem solving, I discovered that when you are "plugging in the mic," you should make sure that you are actually plugging in the mic cord and not plugging in a random loose cord that isn't connected to anything on the other end.  So I'm sorry to disappoint anyone who thought I was going to go far in this life, but I am not the brilliant braniac you once thought.  I am regular.  And now you know.

New Year, New Roommates

So, it is now 2009.  I have a new blog, a new onslaught of classes, so hey, why not some new roommates as well?  I mean, I didn't hate Kami and Rodney living with me, it's just...how do I put this?  Some things are just better left unsaid.  I'll just go with "it wasn't workin' out for me anymore."  I was sort of feeling like an alien in my own home...which sucks, because it was a nice home.  I put in a yard.  Looking back, I guess I was being forced out from the beginning.  But whaddya do?  Find a new place to live, apparently...

When I return from my winter break, I will be moving in with my friend Miah and his cousin, Tim.  "But Lindsey..." you say, "How can living with two boys be more tolerable than living with your sister and her husband?  And how can you go from living in an adorable two-story duplex to living in a somewhat-creepy and uneven basement?"  Well, I'm glad you asked.  And I reply, "Fraction of the rent, clean, quiet, with dishwasher, Wii, cable, and internet included.  Oh, and it's right by the college.  And I have my own shower and toilet.  And they actually like my cat."  So there you have it.  Here's to a better semester!