My Fantasy Dinner Party

What do C3PO, Benjamin Hobart, and Christie Brinkley have in common? You know this. Come on. Give up? They are all invited to Ross Geller's Fantasy Dinner Party. And when I remembered this, I thought to myself, "Why don't I have a guest list for my Fantasy Dinner Party? So I decided to make one. This is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do. I feel obligated to state one minor proviso: This list is subject to change at any time. Because I'm a girl and that's how we roll. Oh, and I am estimating that the appropriate number of people to invite to a dinner party is 8, based on several reliable sources. And by "several reliable sources" I mean "one website." And the winners are...

1. "The Author": Ernest Hemingway - A talented author, a soul from "the Lost Generation," he's well-travelled, pensive, he fought in the Great War, and he blew his own head off right here in Idaho. Fascinating guy.

2. "The Actor": Harrison Ford - He's been Han and Indi...need I say more?

3. "The Funny Guy": Seth MacFarlane - It will be like having Stewie, Peter, and Quagmire there. I'm pretty sure we won't stop laughing. Someone will probably choke. But several of my guests are dead anyway.

4. "The Wookie": Chewbacca - Okay, Star Wars is awesome, and if any of my guests get out of line, he can pull their arms off. I also think it will be really nice to get a Wookie hug. And I really want to know what he smells like, and whether his fur is soft and silky or kind of matted and gross.

5. "The Obstetrician": Ignaz Philipp Semmelweis - He dramatically decreased mortality rates in women who gave birth by figuring out it was NOT, in fact, a very good idea to perform necropsies and then go deliver a baby without stopping by the sink first to wash up. He was insane about germs (though they didn't know what a germ was at the time) and critics bashed him and called him crazy. Later in life, he actually went crazy, but whether it was from the syphilis or the stress, we'll never know. It's said that he began turning every conversation to the topic of childbed fever...I think he will add a challenge to the dinner conversation, and an interesting one at that.

6. "The Beverage King": Charles Alderton - He gave the world Dr. Pepper, and inviting him is the only way I can think of to appropriately say, "Thank you, kind stranger. You've changed my life."

7. "The Unsung Hero": Rosalind Franklin - She was the best in her field. Without her crystallography pictures of DNA, Watson and Crick might not have beaten Linus Pauling to the structure of our genetic material and history would be forever changed. They SO owe her. And she died before she could collect. I really just want to get her side of the story and tell her that I'm proud of her for being a strong woman in a man's world.

8. "The Forensic Anthropologist": Bones (a.k.a. Temperance Brennan) - I don't really know the rules about the Fantasy Dinner Party. I assume fictitious characters are acceptable, on account of Ross inviting C3PO, and I really don't want to know what Emily Deschanel is like in real life - I just love her as Bones and I want to maintain that image. So I would invite Bones to my dinner party, because I secretly want to be like her, antisocial tendencies aside. Gosh, I love Bones.

Okay, that's my Fantasy Dinner Party. Oooh! Maybe we'll get Fazzari's...